i write words. pg. 1

NO NEED-2006
There's no need to call you any more
to invite you in then watch you walk out the door
I'll observe from a distance
as you slowly fade away
I know I loved you, but with the way you treat me
I can't allow you to stay

Our reality was pleasant to the eye
it made me smile and wish for a new day
we must have fell apart
to throw such a good thing away
I understand I need you, but when you're gone
I hardly yearn for your song.

this digital clock petrudes its eyes
to show me how late I've been alive
but I just turn my head to make it go away
knowing soon will come a new day
before I allow the sun to rise
and observe our lives
I put away my yesterday
and prepare to mold tomorrow like clay.

When I lie awake at night
and my loneliness consumes me
after all the tears dry from my face
I can slip into a dream, where it's all make believe
where the night soothes me to sleep.

I awake to a familiar face that greets me to the day
then embraces each curve of my hip
urges me to stay, to wait for another day
or perhaps just lie with him for eternity.

this dirty window ignore my plees
masking the reality of the outside world
it mutates and alters familiar images
as it collects etches of its creations
unaware of the sanctuary it brings

layers of age cling to its surface
these walls bleed with truth and lies
it's years scream with life of many generations
too brittle to correct it's breaking skin
yet as young as the day it could stand

foundation richer than any memory
creating life and death each year
braving the hardships of each season
too important to run away
supporting what holds our life

my home, breaking and falling in
too lovely to walk away from
my home, where life breathers from every window and door.

I, FOR YOU-2007
I cry for you
for our pain and broken pieces
that there's no extensions to our being
to letting you let go of me.

I dream of you
of how things were in my heart
that joy and serentiy is among our lives
to create an alternate ending.

I believe in you
in letting you go completely
that there will be new dreams to be made
to allow for any possibility.

I forgive you
so we can live and move on
that there's no regret within me
to open our hearts to someone else.

I miss you
at random times of my life
that my emotions get the best of me
to accept that what I felt was right.

There's a town atop a hill that seeps into your soul
and they say once you're there you never leave
it's the soil
it's the people
the love of family
that makes you want to call it home.

There are generations of stories that live deep within the land
that are told by the young and the old
children run wild on the green, green grass
and the days move slower than you know

lovers walk hand in hand down a brick layed path
and the town ages with out a sound
my hearts here to stay, even though I've gone away
and that hill is what I call home.

she'll dance with the fireflies
with the stars shining in her eyes
watch the wind blow through her hair
like a child without a care
bare foot on green grass
in the air you hear her laugh
spinning round til she drops
and the earth waits until she stops

there..s no care in the world
but she's just a normal girl
her age doesn't mean a thing
next month she's twenty three

there's a song only she can hear
that's deep within her soul
he's the man that holds her tight
the one that makes her life

she'll dream all through the night
as the moon kisses away dark skies
watch her make each one come true
with all this love she'll make it through
delicate if nothing more
she glides across the floor
singing words all her own
and now she's fully grown.

I AIM-2007
i aim for your heart
do i hit or miss?
i keep persistence
sing a lullaby
can hardly sleep at night
the void where you belong
my hand turns cold
i held on too long
now you..re seeping in
i fear broken hearts
yet stand still
taste you in my mouth
smoke fills my lungs
i stay steady
determined and willing
don..t push or pull
time means little any more.

in the morning i..ll remember
in the morning i..ll be alone
when the sun rises i..ll realize nothing has changed

in a day i..ll sing the same song
in a day i..ll cry these tears
when the day is over i..ll still be alone

in a week i..ll let it slip my mind
in a week i..ll try not to call
when the week is done it..ll still be on my mind

in a month i..ll become impatient
in a month i..ll think it through
when a months time has passed i..ll want the same thing.

in a year i..ll become stronger
in a year i..ll try to understand
when a year has gone by i..ll pretend i don..t care.

in a second you changed everything
in a second you made me fall
when that second passes i..m where i began.

I'LL WAIT-2007
i..ve cried 15,000 tears
each just as meaningless to you
you claim you shared the grief
yet i..ve never seen the proof

i want a recognition of my pain
for you to hold me until it hurts
put my face into your hands
and heal these eyes that died for you

have you ever felt such sadness
or are you the one that causes it?
do you want to make it better?
because i..ve been waiting for years

he kissed me under the apple tree
we made love and the rain was sweet
it was the last time i felt his touch
i yearn for the rain so much

green grass and a blanket for us
rain rolling off our skin
darkness covers our bodies and the land
that spring i fell in love and lost again

i hear his laughter from across the room
he reaches for me with tired eyes
with a faint cry he rests for the night
in the morning he's fresh with the day
growing and moving as we play
his bubble toes drag across the floor

don't come by to waste the time
forget about calling for for an AM ride
lose my number and my keys
misplacing me should come with ease

you can't break me forever, or
avoid looking me in the face
blame what you want to
you ignore love to play games

erase the stars
erase the "Dead"
we'll become faint memories in our heads.

opening to an abyss
clear as the ocean blue
waking to the sun and to this face
staring gently, wantingly
yearning for tender lips
to sleep through the night
drawn to my downfall
falling quietly
exposed imperfections
left my heart
too much to swallow
melt from the inside out
change perspective
walk away kicking

just take my hand
lead me away
expose my soul
mend these wounds
look in my eyes
say the perfect things you say
hold me close
cushion my fall
watch me grow
see me soar
break my heart
let me cry
ignore the pain
plea your case
search for more
find the end.

he said, get out of here girl
leave your family leave your world
there's more for you then what is here
i'm not your prince charming
you deserve so much more

don't cry you'll be just fine
this isn't what's meant to be your life
open up to see the world
find yourself and the rest will come
i love you and that's all i've got

she sighs but can't shed a tear
he crushes feelings she's had for years
to let go means an empty heart
to hold on offers nothing more
she won't ask and he won't tell

a broken heart
silent tears
empty heart
wasted time
that's what's left of you and i.

oh boy, the words you make come out of my mouth
I say, oh boy these are things you don..t say out loud
and I scream, i..m falling apart with no one to catch me
these dreams, weren..t meant for us to bring to life
oh boy, these tears you..ve caused keep me up at night
I don..t, oh boy i don..t want to be sad about you
and they say, girl I told you he..d treat you this way
this heart, just wasn..t meant to break.
oh boy, the past was so much fun for us
I say, oh boy if you..d only stop running away
and I believe, something will come of what you taught me
these eyes, aren..t dry because I can..t hide
oh boy, these butterflies turn me inside out
I say, oh boy one day you..ll know what you..re missing
and I wait, to understand the pain inside
this heart, just wasn..t meant for breaking.

my tomorrow echoes my today
in solo sitting, thinking, waiting
let the river take you
knowing either way you wouldn't stay

stale smoke escapes my lips
ascending to blue heights
to carry this sadness
your face a void in my memory
yet the bitter taste lives on

i must escape your absence
run from sweet words in my ear
recovery sits very still
as i watch you carry on.

SO LONG-2009
i found myself standing, starring
nothing moved, no one spoke
even the wind was silent
i looked for you all around
no familiar face near me
close these eyes imagining you
day dreams disappear so quickly

farewell love, farewell darling
i say good-bye every night
aware that you're far from me
farewell, good-bye
so long, until next time

from afar he brought all his wisdom
words i'd only thought but never heard
unaware of the circumstance
too honest for these ears
he spoke of love and time that will surround it
of the soul that only i can break
withdrawn from my emotion
then what he said stirred these tears
yet i admit these words on brought frustration
for this love and soul can only arrive with time
this time that takes eternity to turn.

hey baby, come on over
touch my hand and watch me smile
i melt from the inside out
the bitter cold means nothing at all

my heart soars like a sparrow
singing songs i didn't know i had
as i fly high above you
the sun has no hesitation to shine.

my lies-2009
i miss it all.
i could make a list.
but lists are recyclable.
and these feelings are not.
put on a lying face.
but i'm no liar.